ABC & Me....

(ABC of NC is the center for children with autism where I work part-time.)


When I first began working at ABC a few years ago, I was impressed and amazed with the ability of each teacher to play so wholeheartedly with their students. There was no self-consciousness, just intensely focused devotion to engaging their child. If that meant emulating a 3 year old or a 7 year old, then that's what happened. Hopping, jumping, splashing, sliding, racing, giggling, rolling games and laughing fun-filled messes extraordinaire were everyday events.

I've always been a bit reserved and actually used to be very shy. But shyness and ABC simply can't coexist. I've rolled down grassy hills with a 3 year old, zoomed around the building playing super hero games with a 7 year old, decorated my feet with shaving cream & paint with a 2 year old, ran loud giggling races down the hallway with the same 2 year old, been submerged in the ballpit, raced on scooters, jumped on the trampoline, danced on the crayon balance beam, sang every childhood song known to man, learned new songs about having a "party in my tummy" and the yumminess of "fruit salad", played in the mud, made oobleck, bubbling volcanoes and ooey-gooey paper-maché.

When I'm with one of my students, the rest of the world pretty much ceases to exist, because they are my focus and they are my joy. To say that I love my job, doesn't even begin to come close to expressing the way I feel.

Recently, on a trip back to Illinois to visit my mother-in-law who is a patient in ICU, I was able to spend time with my 3 & 7 year old nephews. They were very well behaved and were doing such a great job of being quiet and sitting down in the ICU waiting room. After about an hour of watching them do their very best to "be good", I couldn't take it anymore. I persuaded them to join me in playing lily-pad jumping games across the floor tiles, followed by zooming races across the hall (where we wouldn't disturb anyone). Races turned into super hero leaps and special cool jumps. Then we went on a quest around the hospital, watching the people from up so high walk around like ants on the ground, mountain climbing up 7 flights of stairs, pretending to swim in the fountain and giggling over how the elevator made our tummy's feel "tickly".

By the time we were done, they were ready for a snack and quiet time and my tension level had dropped down tremendously.

Kids and playing - it's an addiction. :)

a breath of hair....

I was sitting in church today...enjoying the music....contemplating communion - my past actions, some of which I deeply regret, the multitude of things for which I have to be thankful....my recent birthday that was splendiferious for so many reasons....the changes I would like to make in my life. All the usual spiritual aspects that tend to be a part of sitting still, focusing and nurturing my faith.

It's hard for me to sit still and just do one thing. Always has been. But I do try.

Usually I manage pretty well. But today...... There was this little elderly lady in front of me with the most beautiful soft white head of hair. I hope my hair turns that beautiful snowy white color when its time. And she was dressed in an elegant dark purple/burgundy-ish dress. Which tended to be a splendid background for that one lone snowy white hair that was laying so peacefully, but so very obviously, on her shoulder. I tried so very hard to ignore it. I mean really, it wasn't hurting anything just laying there. Besides, it wasn't any of my business. It's not like I even knew her and could reach up and flick it off for her. Which would have made my life considerably easier. But it was like a spotlight was shining on it, making me antsy crazy.

My gaze was continually and repeatedly drawn to that one lone snowy white hair. I determinedly looked away. And successfully managed to focus on the music or speaker for about ooooohhhh...30 whole seconds. Praying, by default, made it easier because I had to close my eyes. But like a magnet, that single beautiful snowy white hair, pulled my gaze to it, over and over again.

So I blew at it.

Softly.

Gently.

Unobtrusively.

Hoping that she would just think a cool breeze was blowing on her neck, since it was delightfully cold outside, even though the church was comfy warm.

I was so pleased when the third gentle blow made it move. I almost had it off of her shoulder! One more breath of air should have done it!

Then my daughter smacked me on the leg and hissed at me to stop it. Geez! I was so close and she wanted me to stop?!?!

Pfffft. I blew one more time and it shifted until it was almost touching the back of the pew. The suspense was killing me! My daughter was grin-glaring at me, whisper-threatening me...but that that snowy white hair was beckoning me and I had to, HAD to get rid of it!

So I oh-so-casually lifted my hand up as if I were going to touch the back of the pew to readjust the way I was sitting or reach for a hymnal in the back of the pew. Heck, I didn't care what I had to do in the realm of normal behavior, as long as I could reach oh-so-slowly, oh-so-nonchalantly and oh-so-slyly pluck it off of her shoulder!!!!!!!!!!! She never even felt me removing it. No one but my daughter even noticed.

I was that good.

And dayum it felt soooooooooooooo wonderful to be able to nestle back into my pew and focus on the music and sermon.

My soul was at peace. In church. As it should be. Ya know?

Ziplining fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carolina Ziplines Tour


http://www.carolinaziplines.com/index.html


I set this up for one of our staff workdays. Everyone had a GREAT time enjoying this team building FUN day!

After the first short zip across a ravine, the ziplines move up into the treetops, where Nickell (the owner) built a station-to-station course with cables of varying lengths and steepness.

You take off from (and land on) wooden platforms that he has lashed to the trees with thick metal cables. They sway a bit, but that’s because Nickell was careful to suspend them without having to drive stakes and nails into the trees. They’re plenty safe, and afford views of the forest below that you otherwise couldn’t get unless you’re covered with brown fur and hoard acorns for food.

You can go as fast or as slow as you want. If you stick your feet straight out in front of you and lie back flat, you can cut down on the wind resistance and really get moving. You brake by pulling down on the wire with a heavily padded and gloved hand.

It was sooooooooo awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!   We even managed to make the local newspaper and TV news.

http://tinyurl.com/2xu83m

http://tinyurl.com/2jpqyo 

Kessie

She was a 7 week old chocolate-colored fluff ball of affection that
attached herself to me with determination and utter devotion. Where I
went, she went and her moods reflected mine to an eerie degree. Some
thought so anyway. I didn't. To me it was natural, because of that
special bond that can sometimes develop between a dog and owner.
I spent so much time playing with her on the floor, teaching her to sit,
stay, shake, lay down and all the things you do to try and create a bond
with a new puppy so that you have that wondrous relationship that
somehow fills a spot in your soul.

I'd always wanted a chocolate lab. I chose the timing of looking for her
until the kids were 6 & 9 years old so that if all went well, they
wouldn't have to experience the loss of a beloved pet while they were
kidlets. We went to the Humane Society and voila, there she was.

She was soon to turn 11 years old, and they are now 17 & 20, so that
worked out pretty well all in all. They certainly enjoyed her while
growing up, but since she had attached herself to me, they are sad
today, but not grieving like I am.

A week ago she was romping, playing chase with me in the backyard and
roughhousing with our other dog, Cloud. It was impossible to tell which
one of them was 11 years and which one was 1 1/2 years old.
And now this morning I held her head, gently rubbing between her eyes
like she loved for me to do and telling her what a good girl she was,
so that the last things she felt and heard were pure love.

A friend suggested that I write about her, to help with my sadness. To
remember all the funny, goofy, or amazing moments that made her
a part of my heart for so long. But I find that it just hurts to much right
now. So I'll save that for another day.

I went into work for a few hours today, just to get away from the house
and that twilight zone syndrome of thinking you see the pet you've lost
out of the corner of your eye. Or the slam dunk feeling of harsh reality
that hits when you go to pet them, or feed them and they're not there. I
work with such a special group of people. Their hugs and commiseration
were just the soothing balm I needed.

Our pets are always, always worth the inevitable and inescapable pain of
losing them. Because the joy they bring is unique and beyond compare.
But those first few hours, and days are hellishly hard to get through.....

Stone Mountain

It's a challenge to explain Stone Mountain's terrain. http://www.ils.unc.edu/parkproject/visit/stmo/do.html

When you hike in North Carolina, you expect red clay, boulders, tree roots, streams/rivers, cliffs and possibly waterfalls. Initially, the beginning of the 5 mile summit trail looks like a usual mountain trail with roots and rocks. Although it quickly becomes very steep and rugged. You don't know what you're in for until you hit the first granite slope. But, it's a small one in comparison to what is ahead, still you don't know this, and you assume it's just an interesting occurrence. Nope. It's only the beginning of many.

This was my 4th time hiking at Stone Mountain, 2nd time to do the dome summit, so I knew what to expect, but it's still one of my most unnerving hiking experiences. It's not only the steepness of the trail, and it's not just the fact that the "trail" consists of finding the painted red dots sporadically placed far and wide across each granite slope. It's the sobering realization that if you fall, there is nothing to catch you and it would be a long, long, long slide to the bottom of the mountain. Sometimes we were hiking with our ankles bent at such a severe angle in order to keep upright. It's more like mobile tilting. Hiking shoes with soles that grip well are required because there are no boulders, trees or any type of hand holds. I never worry when I hike with my brother though. He's been trained in mountain rescue, and had completed some of his training at Stone Mountain and always finds a safe path.

Each slope is incredibly smooth except for the various pock marks from the frequent lightening strikes. Seeing them dotting every granite slope of Stone Mountain makes me wonder what the homesteader's at the settlement built at the base of the mountain must have thought when it stormed. It had to have been mind-boggling. I understand why no one is allowed near the Stone Mountain dome, Wolf Rock or Cedar Rock during a storm, but I sure would like to see mother nature's powerful display.

I love the rock & cliff colors found at Hanging Rock and Pilot Mountain, but Stone Mountain is a dull gray granite. What gets to me about it is the utter magnitude of each rock face, the awesome solid mass of a mountain that you know has withstood the centuries in much the same state. It's like I imagine the lunar landscape might look like in person. Gray, forbidding, massive and yet compelling nonetheless.

Once we made the summit, we stopped for a picnic and restorative chocolate. :) And picture taking. I found two adjacent lightening strikes shaped like butterfly wings. I tried to capture the wonder of Stone Mountain, but the photo's I uploaded to Snapfish don't come close to conveying its unique beauty.

After lunch we hiked across the summit, through the woods and down to the waterfalls. This time, before we headed down to their base, I searched for their source and was surprised to find that it's a stream a lot smaller than I had anticipated. But oh my gosh, it goes so fast, and is so loud and violent anyplace where it's obstructed. I now understand how it creates the beauty and power of the falls.

We began the trail at 1pm and got back down to the comfort station as 5pm after pausing for a bit at the base to watch some rappellers. They looked like tiny specks on the side of Stone Mountain. If you look closely at the last few pics, you can see them in the crease of the long vertical edge.

http://tinyurl.com/yhamek

Downtime Up High

I hiked alone for three hours on Sunday. Alone enough to be by myself, but aware that other people would be on the same trail so I don't have to worry about being too isolated. I chose a strenuous trail that I know well because I wanted to test my level of endurance at this point. It had been several months since I had dared to try it. May, in fact.

Lost the trail after a few yards...blocked with trees...mudslides...piles of dirt and branches hid holes, so I had to be extra careful and hike around a lot of obstacles that are never usually present. We'd had a lot of wind and rain last week. A tad bit more strenuous than I had planned, but dayum it felt good to do it anyway and not hurt!

Found the clear trail along the bottom of the cliffs and was frustrated to have lost my water bottle somewhere down the mountainside. But, still had the chocolate, so all was well. I slowly made my way back up to the top, greeting rock climbers and other hikers along the way.

Laying flat on the top of my favorite cliff, looking down far below to the trail that I had been hiking on.... wind gently blowing all around, swirling my hair into my face...able to peek into the sun with my hair filtering the brightness of the setting sun.

Water drip-dropping from this teeny tiny stream going over the cliff to form a cascading sheen down the side. As many times as I have hiked that trail, I've never seen that stream present or the way it made the rock faces so incredibly beautiful in a different way than before. It fascinates me that each time I go there is something new and wonderful to discover.

The sunset.... the massive giant star dropping from the sky so quickly I could see it happening. How many times can we gaze at the sun and actually see its movement?? It had turned that unique shade of glowing-ember orange that showcases its power, but yet is dimmed enough that our eyes can still look on in awe.

I stayed until the lights started popping on down below me in the surrounding countryside. I always think they look like fairy lights, because they just magically appear where you didn't even know there was a house or road.

Snapfish Pics
http://tinyurl.com/y3n93d

There are those moments...

Moments of such intense personal happiness, not reliant on anyone else, when you know what it is to feel like a little kid again with that funny tickly feeling in your stomach as you anticipate something important to you.

I've been a tad tense the past few months for obvious, and some not so obvious reasons. There have been goals to reach for each week and/or month that signified important aspects of reclaiming my life post-surgery. October flew by so quickly last year that I swore this year I would embrace all the fleeting moments of flame-colored trees and the kiss of winter in the wind. I've been doing that in small ways here and there although I haven't been able to do it at quite the intense level I had hoped for. This weekend was all about ensuring that I get to the trails to be immersed in the scents that are unique to fall and the colors that soothe all the jagged edges inside of me.

Yesterday, driving up, down and around the winding mountain roads, looking at the trees, feeling their hues of warm amber, vibrant red, crispy golden sunshine yellow, and burnt sienna permeate my soul to the very center of me.....that ever-elusive and always surprising tickle of pure sparkling happiness came out of nowhere. The smiles and the bubbling laughter followed in quick succession.

A close friend of mine who lived in Wisconsin, (when I lived in Florida), used to take pictures of the fall leaves and winter snow for me because she knew I needed my fix each year. I took over 75 pictures of leaves, waterfalls, etc. yesterday. But I only posted 16.

http://tinyurl.com/y93gob